“Hey Pastor Alberta…I need some help! I love my sister very much even though she is a lesbian and has rejected the Gospel. But now she is getting ‘married’ to her woman friend and I have no interest in going to her wedding. Now the family is accusing me of being cruel and a very bad Christian for judging her etc. What am I to do? This is really upsetting!”
The above note is a composite of questions I have received over the many years I’ve served as a Pastor. Even very recently. So many evangelicals have faced this question. So…here are a few thoughts:
FIRST: I understand the problem. The Word of God is very clear that homosexual activity is “abominable” in the sight of God. All of Leviticus Chapter 18 addresses it. Romans One and elsewhere it is re-enforced. So, we recoil at a gay wedding with good reason. The Holy Spirit lives inside of us and we sense that He will not approve.
SECOND: We must watch our attitude in this because gay people are still made in the image of God and sinners to whom Christ is offered. Yet, Jesus told the woman caught in adultery to “Go and sin no more!”
THIRD: Family and others will not understand if you do not go. Your concern is that you don’t want to invite anyone to think you approve. But you can’t exactly go and walk around with a sign that says “I don’t approve.” In other words, you cannot win in this situation. Don’t be surprised if others find your concerns unloving. But keep in mind that our Lord said:
Matthew 5:11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you because of me…”
FOURTH: This is important! You are NOT JUDGING HER! God has made known His judgment of such behavior and all you are doing, if you choose not to go, is honoring God. He has spoken. Think of it this way: would you get drunk to satisfy someone else when you know that would be a sin? Of course not. BUT…those who don’t have Christ in them will probably call you narrow-minded and hateful. Got it.
FIFTH: You might ask your sister why she is asking to go if she knows that it will make you uncomfortable? Would she like to be asked to participate in something that required her to compromise that way?
SIXTH: If you do not go, tell her gently that you care for her and love her etc. That you wish her and her friend well. Perhaps give them a gift card. Do not be hateful. But you are entitled to say “No” to many of life’s invitations. Just do it gently.
SEVENTH: Pray for her/them and hope they will not proceed or perhaps they will change their minds.
EIGHTH: Keep in mind that many Bible-believing folks think differently about this. They have gone to gay weddings and think it was regrettable but since the couple was going to be married anyway…they thought it best to try to be “nice” about it. I respect that. But, for what it is worth…I would not go. And I would not expect all others to understand my thinking.
Invited to a gay wedding? May the Lord give you great wisdom! Blessings!